27 weeks and the dramatic arrival of baby Sophie Mary Anne!

What a whirlwind of events have happened since I last updated this blog.

At 26 weeks and 5 days I was admitted to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, having been sent to an appointment there for monitoring. It's never a good sign when you are asked to fill in a menu card shortly after arriving! They decided that they would probably need to keep me in until Baby B was born, which really scared me. At least I was put into a side ward after spending the day being monitored in a ward along with someone who had already had her baby by c-section the previous day and someone else who was in for monitoring.

Once I was settled in the side ward and Alan had fixed up the phone/TV/internet package things started to become more bearable! Alan stayed with me all day and I had lots of blood tests, urine tests, blood pressure monitoring, time on the CTG machine to monitor the baby's heartbeat and movement and a scan which showed that the baby was still doing ok.

That evening we were given a tour of the neonatal unit and the chance to speak to a paediatric doctor to discuss what would happen when the baby arrived.

The next day was just more of the same and during the night on the Saturday night, I woke up feeling really ill. I had the worst - and weirdest - headache that I have ever had in my life...so painful when I was lying down that I just could not bear to lie down at all....and my fingers were so swollen that I could not bend them. The thing that had actually woken me in the first place was baby B going absolutely nuts leaping around in my stomach - my whole stomach was jumping from the outside ...typical that it was the first time it was really doing that properly when Alan was not there to feel it! At least I knew baby B was still doing ok though. A midwife came in at 6am to take blood (lovely start to the day!) and found that there was not a single place left in either arm where she could take it as I was so mutilated! She got a doctor to come and put one of those hideous things in my hand so they could take blood that way :( Then the dreaded blood pressure check and it was through the roof...I had about 4 doctors in trying to work out how to get it back down again and they gave me some different medication.

I felt much better after that and went in the shower, only to feel as if I was about to faint. I have never had such a fast shower in my life! When they came back to check my blood pressure again, it had dropped worryingly low, which was why I almost fainted, and this was the start of things going very wrong.

I was put on the CTG monitor again for an hour, and was then told that I was being sent for a scan. I didn't have time to get Alan up to the hospital for the scan, and ended up sitting in the waiting room on my own along with loads of couples who were there for scans. I have never felt so alone or so scared in my life. While I was sitting there waiting I started to get really weird flashing lights in front of my eyes, which is another of the symptoms I'd been told to look out for, and the headache was getting worse and worse. Alan was later told that I was just an hour away from organ failure...

The woman who did the scan was so horrible, using lots of medical terms that I did not understand at all. She then said to me "Of course, you know from Friday's scan that the baby is not doing at all well"! I went straight back to the ward and burst into tears on the poor doctor and midwife but they were really lovely with me. The doctor explained that she had decided to do an emergency c-section that afternoon because things had started to become dangerous for me and for the baby.

I phoned Alan and 7 minutes later he came flying into the room! I was feeling really ill by this point and was just lying on the bed feeling horrible! By all accounts I didn't look all that great either! The anaethetist came to talk to me about whether I wanted a spinal or general anaesthetic (I decided on a spinal so I'd be awake for the birth and Alan would be able to be there) and then I was given a lovely stylish gown to change into and eventually was taken along to the operating theatre. I was absolutely terrified when I was getting the spinal but once it was over, I was fine. I just kept saying to Alan "I'm going to be a mummy TODAY!"

There were soooo many people in the room, including quite a big team of paediatricians ready to whisk the baby away as soon as it was born. There was a very strange moment when I was lying on the operating table and they went round everyone in the room introducing themselves! The spinal felt really weird and I was convinced my legs were in the air but Alan assured me they were flat on the table. Alan was allowed to sit up beside me and he held my hand all the way through. The doctor told us when she was about to lift the baby out, which was about five minutes after they started, and we heard crying, which was amazing because we'd been told not to expect to hear the baby cry at that gestation. We both had tears in our eyes!

The doctors were trying to get Alan's attention to go and see the sex of the baby but they didn't manage to get him quickly enough so they told us it was a girl, and took her straight away to the incubator. She was born at 14.44. We decided to name her Sophie Mary Anne - the middle names are after her two grannies. It was the most amazing feeling in the world when she was born, and knowing she was ok after all the stress and worry. It was so difficult not seeing her though.

By 15.15 I was in the high dependancy ward with a lovely midwife called Betty looking after me for the whole afternoon. Alan started making the phonecalls to let people know that Sophie had arrived, and after about two hours he was allowed to go and see her. He took a photo of her to bring back to show me.

First photo of Sophie, 2 hours old

Daddy's first gift to Sophie was a beautiful pink rocking horse, and he also brought in a pink teddy bear from her granddad, so even though my baby wasn't with me that first night, there were still signs around my bed that I'd had a baby girl. It was so hard not even getting to meet her that night, especially when they brought a woman into the ward with her baby who had just arrived at full term, and her husband who was very loud and jokey.

Sophie's first gifts

Sophie was born on Mother's Day, which was very strange, as her daddy was also born on Mother's Day. Her birth was a very happy occasion but also sad, as Alan's mum is not here to see her granddaughter, and we miss her very much - but we still feel she is very much around to watch over her beautiful granddaughter and we are sure she had a hand in Sophie's safe arrival.

26 weeks...the mother of all weeks!

Firstly I would just like to apologise for the lateness of this post - but what a scary week this has been. We went to the midwife on Tuesday morning for my 25 week check, and my blood pressure was very high. All the other tests she did were fine but she was concerned about my blood pressure. She asked me to lie down in a dark room for half an hour and she checked it again and it was still high so she phoned the Borders General, where I will be giving birth, and they suggested that I go home for the rest of the day and have complete rest, then get it checked again in the morning.

I followed her orders, and on Wednesday morning it was still very high, so BGH said I should go up there for monitoring and that I should take an overnight bag just in case. I have a terrible fear of hospitals, so this did not go down well!

Off we went to the hospital, and I was put onto a monitor that measured my blood pressure every 5 minutes. I also had to have a blood test (another huge fear of mine!) - little did I know, this would be the first of many blood tests this week! The monitoring showed that my blood pressure was still very high but my blood tests came back normal. The doctor had a chat with us and decided to send me home, as she said it would be less stressful for me than having to stay in overnight. I definitely agreed with her on that one!

I had to see my own midwife at Berwick on Friday again for a blood pressure and urine check. She was meant to come out to the house, but there was a breakdown in communication somwhere between BGH and Berwick, and when nobody had turned up by early afternoon, I phoned and was asked to go in, as she didn't know she was supposed to come out! When she did my blood pressure it was still very high and by this time there was a trace of protein in my urine sample which is never a good sign. She felt and measured my stomach and listened to the heartbeat, and everything was absolutely fine there. Once again I was packed off to BGH because of my blood pressure but this time they said I wouldn't need an overnight bag...famous last words! I did get myself worked up into quite a state before leaving the maternity unit - just a fear of what was going on, what was going to happen when I got to BGH etc. The two midwives, Rixt and Lesley, were absolutely lovely and reassuring and provided me with tissues and hugs! My mum and dad had to take me up to BGH as Alan was at work.

On arrival at BGH I was put into a delivery room in the labour suite - eek! I was surprised at how lovely and calm it was in there, after weeks of tip-toeing past, pretending it did not exist! I saw a lovely midwife who hooked me up to a CTG monitor to listen to Baby B's heartbeat and I had a wee gadget to press every time I felt movement. The heartbeat was very regular and well within the rates that are normal for this stage and there was plenty movement. I had yet more blood tests and another urine sample, and this time the blood tests came back with "some markers" in them...we still don't know what this meant....and the urine sample had slightly more protein. As for the dreaded blood pressure - still high! By this point with the blood pressure and the trace of protein in the urine sample, they were starting to look at the possibility of pre-eclampsia.

While we waited to see the doctor we were allowed away for something to eat, then eventually about 8.30 a doctor came round and did all sorts of tests on me for my reflexes etc. She seemed happy with everything then a registrar came round and said they were admitting me!! I had absolutely nothing with me and was so stressed out at the thought of having to stay in hospital. Luckily I have a good friend who lives nearby and she went to the 24 hour Asda and bought me everything I'd need for overnight! There was nothing she didn't think of :)

I was admitted onto ward 17 where there was already one other person. More on her in a minute! Another two midwives came to see me and checked my blood pressure again and explained that there are actually things they can do for pre-eclampsia which was a relief, because from everything I'd read, I thought that the only possible option was delivery of the baby. I was told that I would be woken at 2am and 6am to have my blood pressure checked and was then left alone for the time being. After Alan left I felt sooo lonely and miserable!

I got pretty much no sleep that night, due to the strange environment, worry, noise, lights, blood pressure monitoring and most of all, Huffy Pufferson in the next bed! She spent all night sighing, huffing and puffing, wandering around, burping, sighing, rumbling around in the bed...and did I mention sighing? This was still going on in the morning when Alan came in so at least he could see what I had been bleating on about!

First thing in the morning they were back wanting to do more blood tests and blood pressure monitoring - great things to do together on a person who is scared of blood tests! We had a long hang on waiting for seeing the consultant and when he came round he really scared me. He felt my stomach and asked how far along I was, and when I said 26 weeks he looked worried and said the baby should be higher up for 26 weeks.

He whipped me off to do a quick scan, and told me that the baby was measuring 25 weeks instead of 26, that there was less amniotic fluid than there should be and less blood flow going to the baby than there should be. Of course all this really worried me but he wasn't really up for answering any questions and we got no information out of him. When we got home, my head was just buzzing with questions and I was still scared the next day so we decided to go up to the midwife at Berwick for a chat about all the questions we had. She answered the best she could but then said maybe we should go back up to BGH for a chat with some of the staff up there, and my blood pressure was still high so she wanted me to be monitored up there.

By the time we got up there and had been seen - more blood tests, more monitoring on the CTG for the baby's heartbeat and more blood pressure checks, it was all just starting to get too much for me and I ended up having a good howl in the toilets. I was just at the point where I was thinking I just could not take any more of this. I was also told they were keeping me in again and I really do have such a fear of staying in hospital. At least this time I'd taken a bag with me so I did have everything I'd need for an overnight stay. The midwives were so understanding and said I could have a side room this time if it made it easier for me, but as it happened there was no one else due on the ward that night so they said I could just stay there and they'd move me if anyone came in during the night.

They started me on blood pressure tablets on Sunday night and by bedtime my bp had gone down quite a bit but on Monday morning it was higher than ever, so they decided to double the dose. They also put me on a low daily dose of aspirin. I had a scan on Monday morning to check for the amniotic fluid and blood flow to the placenta and although it was very slightly reduced, the consultant (a much nicer one this time!) said that although the baby was slightly small, it wasn't absolutely tiny, but was what they'd expect for the size of a baby with a mum who had pre-eclampsia. The baby is currently weighing 1lb9oz.

The same friend who sorted me out with things for an overnight stay on Friday night came to sit with me all morning on Monday and went to the scan with me, as Alan was not able to be there till lunchtime. I was so glad she was there, as she was so supportive and asked loads of questions I'd not have thought to ask! She was also the one who noticed that the scanner machine actually shows the weight of the baby - the consultant said he'd been using that machine for a whole year and had never noticed that it told the weight!

The outcome of the scan was that the consultant will have to scan me every 1-2 days and he will need to make a decision when the time comes that the baby is safer and better out than in. He said it will definitely not make it to full term, and he would like to get me to 30 weeks if possible. That really scared me so much and once again I burst into tears when I came out of the scan. It was just such a shock after having such an easy pregnancy up till a week ago. The baby could come any time from now - I just so hope he or she hangs on in there for another few weeks.

They also decided to give me steroid injections into my hip, which hurt like crazy (and I can still hardly walk today!) - these are to help mature the baby's lungs ready for early delivery. Apparently they do make a huge difference. If the baby comes before 32 weeks I will have to be transferred to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary or Newcastle as they are more specialised for very premature babies. It just depends where there is a cot free. We would much rather have Edinburgh because it would be nice to be on familiar ground at a time like this, plus we have a friend who's a nurse in ERI who has said we can stay with her rather than trailing up and down every day for weeks and weeks. That's a big weight off our minds.

We were back up at BGH yesterday for another scan and more blood pressure checks and the good news is that my blood pressure had gone down dramatically, plus the scan showed no change at all since the day before which is a good thing. They gave me my second (and hopefully final) steroid injection which hurt more than the previous day's one! I am very glad that the sorer one was the second one, because I'd have been more worried about getting the second one had the first one hurt like that! They decided that I could wait 48 hours for my next check so we are back up there tomorrow. Fingers crossed things are still ticking along just the same. Every day that passes now is a bonus.

Today we went into my office to sort out my maternity leave etc and I'm now finished at work - I have holidays to take first then officially start maternity leave on 15th April. I did a short handover with a colleague so now I don't need to worry about any outstanding work that I might have sitting in my tray. It's nice to have one less thing to worry about.

I have also been advised to pack a hospital bag to put in the car for every time I go to an appointment, just in case they decided that the time has come to deliver the baby. The midwife said it doesn't necessarily mean that they think the baby is going to come immediately, but she said from a practical level it's good to have another thing ticked off my list and something else that I don't need to worry about. It felt all wrong being in Boots buying everything I needed when I should be doing that for another couple of months at least - it should be an exciting time but it just feels so sad and scary.

Alan has been absolutely amazing and I don't know what I'd do without him. He has managed to get this week as holidays and is looking after me so well. I am not allowed to lift a finger!

We are back up at BGH tomorrow and I will try my best to update again on Sunday as usual.

25 weeks....serious back pain and a white dog!

Here we are at 25 weeks today and it's been quite a week. I am yelping every time I move! I have had a hideously sore back for the past week, going right down into my leg and even my foot and it is agony. Even to turn over in bed, I have to actually haul myself into a sitting position and get out of bed, then back in on my other side! Poor Alan has been getting woken up by yelps of pain every time I attempt to move. I haven't yet got stuck in the bath but have been stuck on the floor a couple of times. I must be a slow learner, as I still keep sitting on the floor and having to be hauled back up again!

My fingers seem to have got a bit swollen too and I keep having to take my wedding and engagement rings off in the middle of the night. They are not even comfy through the day today :(

I also had another scare early on Tuesday morning after Alan had gone to work and had to get our nurse neighbour in again to listen for the heartbeat and check that everything was ok. Fortunately she could feel the baby moving as soon as she felt my stomach, and she eventually found the heartbeat, although Baby B was wriggling so much it took a little bit of locating! The baby gave the doppler a hefty kick at one point and deafened poor Stella! S/he doesn't like being poked at with a doppler - the same happened to the midwife last time she used it! I got to hear the heartbeat too after Stella had found it, and it was loud and strong and much easier to hear now that Baby B is getting so much bigger. I was still ordered to sit with my feet up for two days and had to stay off work on Tuesday and Wednesday. Those of you who know me well will know that I don't do resting, and it was driving me crazy by Tuesday evening! I just wanted to be busy....

Baby B was very quiet all day on Tuesday which made me a little bit worried, but s/he more than made up for it on Wednesday and was up almost all day. I was woken by a feeling of being punched and kicked at the same time and when I put my hands on my stomach, I could feel it moving at both sides at the same time! This kind of behaviour went on all day but I have to say I was very reassured to feel it so much.

We now have a small white bundle of energy staying with us, in the form of Sammy the dog. She is here for two weeks while Alan's dad is on holiday and she is one hyper animal! The first night she was here, she kept insisting on leaping onto my bump so we had to put a stop to that pretty sharpish and I now have to protect it with a cushion when she starts flying around! For a small dog she certainly has more than enough energy and despite two long walks on the beach yesterday, she was still going strong at bedtime.

The poor cat is a bit traumatised and is currently living upstairs. He has moved there properly for the time being and has taken all his belongings with him...his food, his litter tray....he has forgotten his beanbag though so maybe we should take that up for him. He has occasionally ventured half way down the stairs and stuck his head through the bannisters to have a look at this new white animal that has invaded his home but as soon as Sammy moves, Jessicat starts baring his fangs and hissing, and his tail puffs up into a massive furball! I just hope he reacts a bit better to Baby B! The rabbit is not reacting at all to Sammy, even though she leaps up and down at his hutch as if she is on a trampoline every time we let her into the back garden. He just sits in his hutch thinking "Lalala, nice day today, oh there's a white dog, ho hum, lalala".

I think I have sorted my maternity leave out now, which is good. It's nice knowing roughly when I am working towards! I'm looking at finishing at the end of April and using up my holidays before starting maternity leave mid-May. I have to get my letter in to them this week confirming when I want to start but I did discuss it with my boss last week so at least unofficially have a rough idea of when I'll be starting it.

I have ordered a maternity swimming costume from Next so as soon as that arrives I will be down to the pool...hopefully some gently swimming might help this hideous backache...

It's just suddenly starting to dawn on us that we are actually going to have a baby in a few months...up till now we've just been thinking about me being pregnant but we were talking yesterday and saying how we both are suddenly beginning to think about how there is going to be an actual baby living in this house very soon....one that is our very own! It's a very exciting thought, but at the same time a little bit scary that we are going to have this huge responsibility. I started panicking the other day because I have never really had anything to do with newborns, let alone changed a nappy! I'm sure we will pick it up soon enough when we are thrown in at the deep end. I've also started to get quite scared about giving birth, after trying not to think about it up till now. It may have something to do with the fact that I finally plucked up the courage to watch "One Born Every Minute" which is currently on every Tuesday! Maybe that was a mistake...

My feet are definitely gone for now...!

I have my 25 week appointment with the midwife on Tuesday morning so will be reporting back on that next week...

24 weeks and daddy's first kick :)

24 weeks pregnant today - a bit of a milestone for baby B as he/she has reached viability. S/he has been very active this week and the kicks have been getting so strong, which is lovely. Daddy-to-be finally felt his first proper kick on Saturday night, and it was so strong it actually made his hand jump on my stomach! For days and days, he tried putting his hand on my stomach every time I said the baby was kicking, but as soon as he put his hand there, the wee toerag moved or stopped kicking! But finally on Saturday night we were lying on the bed watching TV and I felt two really hefty kicks, got Alan to put his hand on my stomach and baby B co-operated at last! It was amazing. It does feel funny if I am sitting with my legs curled up against my stomach and I can feel the kicks on my leg.

We have had a weekend away in St Andrews this weekend - one of our favourite places as it's where Alan proposed, and also where we got married, not to mention where I spent my four years as a student!

We had such a lovely time re-visiting old haunts, raking the shops, catching up with people and just spending quality time together, which we don't seem to have had much of lately. We definitely plan to take Baby B up there for holidays - it's such a beautiful place and so many nice walks and things to do.

Baby B is giving me a lot of backache at the moment....according to our nurse neighbour, s/he is sitting on the sciatic nerve and making my right leg and foot go numb! It really hurts when I try to stand up or bend down as well - but all worth it in the end.

We haven't been able to resist looking at baby clothes every time we are in the shops - such cute little outfits all over the place.

I've been trying to get a lot of early nights as I've been feeling a lot more tired after work. Alan has decided that my usual chair is closed until further notice and I have now been moved to the couch which is much comfier.

I still have baby brain and I'm sure it's getting worse! This week's best baby brain moment was when I took all the work mail to the post office, bought 200 first class stamps, stuck the stamps onto the mail that I had with me and went back to the office only to discover that I was still clutching the pile of mail in my grubby paw! I also said to Alan "For a Hibbee you have a lot of friends who are Jambos...." - the ultimate insult, calling a Hearts supporter a Hibbee...oops! I totally meant to say it the other way around but it just came out all wrong!

I'm getting even worse than usual for starting a sentence in my head and finishing it out loud, leaving poor Alan completely confused, and this morning I came out of the bathroom and triumphantly said "uptight!!!"....having just remembered a word I was looking for on Friday!

The nesting instinct is definitely setting in already. We have spent the afternoon since we got home doing a huge clean of the living room and moving the furniture and cleaning in all the corners. We haven't done any more with the nursery but still plenty time for that....

At the end of this week we are getting Alan's dad's dog, Sammy, to stay for two weeks. She loves to sit on my knee and put her paws on the bump, so it'll be interesting to see what happens when she gets her first kick...watch this space!

23 weeks...and glove feet??

23 weeks pregnant today, and baby brain hit with a vengeance this week! I put my coat on the other morning, picked up my bag and my gloves and went out to the hall to put my boots on. Lifted my foot up and put my boot on then realised it didn't feel quite right. Looked down....and I had a pink stripey glove on my foot!!! I ended up laughing like a lunatic all on my own!

My new shoes :)

Later that day, my boss gave me some money to go and buy some biscuits for the office. I went out, bought some other bits and pieces that were needed and came back. A while later, she asked me where the biscuits were. "Biscuits?" I said, looking slightly vacant. "Yes, the biscuits I asked you to get earlier. I even gave you money." Then it slowly dawned....I had managed to come with dog biscuits but without the human ones! I definitely need to start relying more on lists!

I am feeling a lot more movement and kicking this week, and one night when I was in the bath, felt constant kicking from the outside! Unfortunately, Baby B is still very speedy and Alan has still always been in the wrong place at the wrong time when the kicking starts. It's usually as soon as Alan goes to sleep at night! One of these days he will hopefully feel it....there is getting to be less room in there all the time, so soon enough Baby B won't be able to dart about quite so swiftly.

I have been less hormonal this week than the past two weeks but still just a touch emotional if I get over-tired! I ended up howling on the phone to my poor mum on Thursday night - there's nothing like your mum asking if you're sure you are ok to set you off howling when you're feeling a bit hormonall! I didn't even know what was wrong with me, I just wanted to howl!

I'm starting to have real trouble bending down to pick things up, and I can definitely see me starting to use my feet more for that. Maybe it's just as well I put my gloves on my feet if I'm going to be using them as hands :)

I was told this week "My goodness, you STILL don't have much of a bump, do you?!" Erm...hello? I just have a cushion stuffed up my top, that's all. No bump. The same person went on to have a good paw at my non-bump, even lifting my cardigan up....she definitely has personal space issues!

I still don't feel particularly pregnant, (apart from the kicking and tiredness), and that is still causing me to misjudge spaces - and also to race around like a lunatic doing all sorts of jobs around the house without sitting down for hours on end, then all of a sudden the backache sets in and I realise I've been on my feet too long! Getting out of the bath is getting interesting now but I have worked out quite a neat little move for that. We'll see how long that lasts before becoming impossible....

I bought some really cute little scratch mitts yesterday after a friend reminded me that would be something we'd need when the baby is born. They are so small and it's hard to imagine that someone will be wearing those in just a few months! We were looking at little outfits yesterday in Boots....if only we knew what we were having I'd definitely have been tempted!

Alan made a start on the nursery-to-be this weekend and dismantled the bed at last.

There is still quite a lot of stuff to be gone through but at least all my pregnancy books turned up along with a few missing items of clothing and we can now see our way to creating a lovely nursery for Baby B :)

22 weeks - kicks, baby clothes and the dreaded hormones!

22 weeks today and the dreaded hormones hit with a vengeance this week! I have been feeling really exhausted by the evening after work - I don't know if it's just because we've had a busy few weeks as well as the emotional upset over Granny Sinclair passing away, or if this is the start of things to come. I have been ready to howl over the slightest little thing for most of the week but I'm glad to say I've been feeling much better over the weekend! I was reading today that this is the point at which mood swings often start...and the article comfortingly informed me that these are just temporary and usually disappear late in the third trimester or shortly after giving birth... ho hum! Sorry Alan :(

Baby B is now apparently around 10.5 inches long and weighs around a pound. Scary thought that his or her weight will probably still increase by another 6 or 7 pounds (hopefully not too much more than that!) by the time s/he appears. I am already aware of the extra weight at the belly if I've been on my feet a while and dread to think what it's going to feel like by the end! At the same time though, when I see the photos of how big the bump is, I would expect to be more aware of it than I actually am! Bending to pick things up is getting harder now and I actually got stuck in a space at work, which was the cause of a lot of hilarity! I was trying to squeeze between the back of a chair and a partition - a space I'd definitely have been able to get through a couple of weeks ago - and my belly got stuck against the back of the chair! I think I need to judge spaces a bit better before I try to get through them now - I just forget that I have that extra bit at the front! I am very glad that I have the useful talent of being able to pick things up with my foot - I can see that coming in very handy over the next few months.

The kicks are getting stronger all the time and it's still such an amazing feeling. Baby B is very active, especially any time I have anything to eat or drink. I still can't feel much from the outside yet - I've felt one kick so far and daddy-to-be has felt one, but Baby B moves so fast it would take a LOT of time and patience waiting for another kick at the place I'd just felt one! He or she often seems to think my bladder is a trampoline these days as well. I can actually feel Baby B flipping around and moving from one side of my stomach to the other as well as poking and kicking me. S/he is still at his or her most active at bedtime - probably preparing us for when s/he is actually here. Still plenty room to move around in there - hope s/he is making the most of it...it won't last!

Alan has been my personal shopper this week, tracking down some maternity tops for me. I now have two and definitely look more properly pregnant in them than in normal clothes. I had a bit of a stressy moment in the Metro Centre last week when my normal size clothes would not stretch over the bump and I couldn't find any nice maternity clothes - followed by a hormonal, teary moment in the car on the way home! However, with the help of my mum trawling the internet and Alan phoning around various stores in Edinburgh I managed to get hold of two nice tops. At least that's a start! I think I am definitely into my last week or two in my nice pink coat, which I am quite upset about.

We've been trying to work out what basics we are going to need for the baby coming and have come up with a list of sorts but there's so much out there it's really hard to know what we actually need. We bought our first clothes today - a pack of five little bodysuits...so cute!

It's so hard to believe that in just four months we will have someone who will be wearing those. It's started to hit us this week just how close we are now to getting a baby. When you think of it in terms of how many pay days there are to start buying things for the baby there are really not that many! I was also counting up that I will fit in another two haircuts then the next one after that will be about a week before my due date - scary! I keep forgetting how pregnant I actually am until I catch sight of myself in the mirror and get a fright...

Apparently the nesting instinct can start as early as the fifth month, which could explain why I have been cleaning like a fiend this weekend. Our kitchen has never been as sparkling as it is right now! I have also spent the afternoon cooking like a fiend, stocking the freezer for the next couple of weeks.

My memory is absolutely shocking now and I'm relying on lists all the time. It's a worrying thing that Alan's memory is actually better than mine at the moment - he is notorious for his terrible memory!

Cravings are still the same....especially orange juice which I just can't get enough of (thank goodness for Costco!) and apples together with cheese. Separately just won't do! I wonder if Baby B is going to be a cheese fiend...

19 and 20 week bump pics

 Just found these pictures from 19 and 20 weeks when I thought I had not grown much....how wrong was I?!